Pride Profiles - Rainbow Alliance

Pride Profiles | Jay Whymark

matt — Wed, 22 Jun 2022 17:39:13 +0000

Jay Whymark is a father of two sons who lives in Wilkes-Barre with his fiancé, works as an art teacher at Bear Creek Community Charter School, and participates in community theatre. He’s an optimistic, friendly, affirming person whose life looks pretty good, despite two years of a worldwide pandemic. But this life he lives would not be possible if he had not committed, fifteen years ago, to coming out to himself and everyone else, including his now ex-wife. This time was difficult, of course, but according to Jay, “Being your authentic self is the best thing you can do as a parent, because it allows you to be fully present in your children’s lives.” This is wonderful advice for all parents. Parenting is a lifelong, rewarding, challenging journey. To not be able to be your complete self on that journey is akin to trying to cook a meal with one hand tied behind your back.

Throughout their lives, Jay’s paramount concern is always what is best for his sons and how they will be affected by his decisions. From the beginning, he and his ex-wife have shared custody of the boys. They are teenagers now. Wyatt, 18, just graduated from high school and will be continuing his education at Bloomsburg University, and Andrew, 17, is a rising senior in high school. As the parents of any teenager know, frequent “check ins” to see how they feel about the issues in their lives and in the lives of their loved ones are important. Since they were young, he and his sons have spent a lot of quality time together, exploring shared interests such as science fiction, comic books, and Dungeons and Dragons. The last interest is one Jay himself picked up in college and has passed down to Wyatt and Andrew. It needs a minimal amount of equipment and encourages imagination and storytelling—a perfect outlet for all three of them.

When Jay came out he was living in the Lehigh Valley. He had a great support system in his family, but the added support of an organization called Rainbow Families was crucial. Being able to do activities with other families, which were sometimes as simple as a picnic, showed Jay and his sons that they were not alone. As LGBTQ+ parenting becomes more common, resources such as the one Jay describes will hopefully become more plentiful; for anyone, there are a number of great books and podcasts with the stories of queer parenting, advice on subjects from surrogacy and adoption to co-parenting with biological ex-partners and stepparents. A comprehensive sampling of these resources can be found here.

While most people in Jay’s life have been and continue to be supportive, even all these years later, there can still be questions and judgements that need to be addressed. On this subject, Jay references Harvey Milk, who said “Unless you have dialogue, unless you open the walls of dialogue, you can never reach to change people’s opinion.” In the true spirit of what Harvey Milk fought for, Jay Whymark embodies that ethos. He is patient, he is kind, and he is always his authentic self. What the world sees then is a gay dad, doing a wonderful job, living his truth and living for his children.

The post Pride Profiles | Jay Whymark first appeared on Rainbow Alliance.

Pride Profiles | Ryan Leckey

matt — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 18:17:39 +0000

Ryan Leckey is an Emmy Award-winning content creator and storyteller whose social media has amassed tens of thousands of followers across platforms. He raised over $4.6 million for Allied Services, helping children and adults with disabilities through Ryan’s Run, a charity campaign he chaired during his time at WNEP-TV. Leckey Live, his popular morning show segment, became a fixture in many homes across Northeastern and Central Pennsylvania, with residents waking up to Ryan’s high energy and positivity, or as he describes himself as “the human version of the Energizer bunny, who is also the human version of a yellow Labrador.” He’s always super happy and everyone’s welcome.

But when Ryan first arrived in Northeastern Pennsylvania in his early 20s, he felt pressure to fit the mold as “straight Ryan” and prove himself as one of the youngest reporters at the station. Not because of his coworkers, who he says have always been open-minded and supportive; rather he feared defying the public’s expectations which became even more complicated after he met a girlfriend locally.

As things started to get real in their relationship, with questions of long-term prospects, it became overwhelming. Ultimately, he ended their relationship when she decided to move out of the area. But the whispers and inner rumblings that he was attracted to men were still there, as they had been his whole life. “Sometimes that inner voice just keeps getting louder and louder where you can’t tune it out anymore to the point where you’re like not only do I need to tune into it but I need to explore this because I feel like this is going to allow me to shine as the person I’m meant to be,” he says.

Ryan eventually started dating men in his mid-20s in a period that he describes as “reliving his adolescence,” first by traveling out of the area to Philadelphia and New York to avoid being seen. He worried what viewers would think if they saw him out to dinner with a guy locally, because then it would also become real. Ironically, while traveling to Philadelphia and New York, he met people from our area who were there for the same reasons. Major cities provided a unique opportunity to be around others who were the same as you without having to look over your shoulder and worry about who’s watching. He did eventually start dating in NEPA, going to restaurants where he knew the owner, places he felt comfortable and safe.

“But looking back now, it’s almost like I put that fear and that hesitation to be my authentic self on myself, it was never really anyone in this area,” he says. When Ryan came out, most people were super supportive. He said some people were like, “We knew but we love you anyway and we just want you to be happy.”

He even used to host small hang outs at his apartment for his WNEP colleagues to meet guys that he was dating. His colleagues were a safe space and he trusted they weren’t going to tell anyone. He wants people to know “If you can be in someone’s inner circle, whether you’re in the gay community supporting them as an LGBTQ+ community member or you’re an ally, having that support goes along way.”

Ryan says he could never have imagined twelve years ago who he is today. He’s happily in a relationship for 8 years with his partner Matt, whom he loves, living life openly. “There’s something about when you own your truth and just really start letting your authentic light shine, you just feel this weight’s been lifted and you don’t feel like you have anything to hide.”

He chooses to approach his public persona and social media in much the same way, focusing on authenticity and connecting with people on a deeper level. “I can show that my life is messy, I can show it can be great, I can have sad times. And I think people appreciate when you’re just all in. When you’re a hot mess and you own it.”

Even though his supporters have always outnumbered his haters online, one criticism that stands out to him is when people say he’s just too much. And he has advice on that, “If people ever tell you, whether it’s you know, if you’re gay, whether it’s a family member or a friend who sees you just being all you and all in and says you’re just too much, tell them to go find less,” he says. “Because there’s other people who are going to be in your tribe, who are going to be in your corner, and guess what, then the haters, those aren’t your people. So if anyone tells you you’re way too much, no matter what it is, too much makeup, too many colorful clothes, tell them to go find less.”

He emphasizes, “We did not survive a pandemic to not live our full lives and be comfortable in our skin and celebrate who we are. Life is too short to let people push you back into a closet, to let people tell you it’s not okay to be who you are, so go throw your light everywhere.”

Written by Anthony Melf

The post Pride Profiles | Ryan Leckey first appeared on Rainbow Alliance.

Pride Profiles | Gabriel Gross

matt — Wed, 01 Jun 2022 13:41:26 +0000

Gabriel Gross believes the most important work they do as a therapist is to tell the young LGBTQ+ people that they counsel, “I believe you.” They are a licensed mental health counselor with a focus on the LGBTQ+ community and people who have experienced trauma. Gabriel wants these young people to know “You will come home to yourself.” Based on Gabe’s personal experience, they know that the journey surrounding gender identity and sexuality can feel like an “empty, darkened space” full of struggle, stress, and rejection. To come out to yourself, Gabe says, is often the first step in that journey.

This is a journey Gabe was on during their college years, when they came out to themself, to close friends and family, and to some trusted college professors. (Full disclosure: I was one of Gabe’s professors at King’s College; I am grateful and honored to have played any part, no matter how small, in this amazing person’s life. I will never lose the memory of seeing Gabe’s smiling face in the front row of Advanced Writing every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It was the best way to start the day.) Although they did have support in college, things were not completely smooth. Challenged by college policy, the college counselor Gabe was seeing was unable to provide a letter approving of gender-affirming top surgery, despite their showing clear symptoms of gender dysphoria. That experience influences Gabe’s philosophy as a therapist to show minimal gatekeeping to their clients. They believe that the therapeutic relationship should be a space where listening to clients takes a primary role. Belief, not skepticism and obstacles to treatment, should be paramount.

Thankfully, Gabe does believe that information and resources for trans and nonbinary young people has gotten much better, even since they came out several years ago. For example, YouTube has videos from medical professionals on topics such as hormone treatments and gender affirming surgeries. There are also specialized resources such as Trans Lifeline, a trans-led organization connecting trans people to support and community, and the Trevor Project, a 24/7 crisis support hotline for LGBTQ+ young people staffed by trained counselors.

In addition to having their own story to tell, Gabe is playing an important, necessary role in the lives of the LGBTQ+ people with whom they work. These people are at various stages in their journeys: they might be beginning to try on a new aesthetic, coming out to themselves, exploring the often scary idea of coming out to others, or contemplating hormone treatments or surgery. Gabe is there to listen to all of this, to make sure the speakers feel heard and believed, and to provide the safe space that we all deserve. I can tell you from my personal experience: no one is better at giving their full attention—humane, kind, and affirming—than Gabriel Gross.

The post Pride Profiles | Gabriel Gross first appeared on Rainbow Alliance.